It’s amazing how easy it is to lose yourself in a whirlpool of sorrow. How every thought and feeling that comes to mind becomes corrupted, destroying what was once a beautiful and enlightening memory that now leaves nothing behind but an overwhelming blur of loss. Bathing in the pain, you can feel your heart slowly ripping apart as everything around you begins to crumble. You remain still amidst all the chaos, the voice inside your head screams at you, clawing it’s way to the surface as it drowns your mind with everything you don’t want to imagine. But on the outside your face remains blank, withered and distant. You’re breaking. I don’t know what you’re going through right now, or why, but whatever it is, I just hope it ends soon. Because I know you can feel the talons of a dark entrapping old friend digging their way into your soul, grasping so tightly it’s tainting your heart and mind. And with it’s malicious smile written all over it’s face, you’ve become it’s prey, engulfing you in it’s suffocating misery as it slowly drags you back into the all too familiar depths of the abyss.
They say that human beings are social creatures, that we need other people. Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, I beg to differ. Sure, it’s nice to have someone around or someone to love and talk to, but to be honest, I’m quite content with being by myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I dearly love my friends and family, and I thank them for being there and accepting me for who I am. But growing up, I’ve come to realize that I’m happy alone, I’m also quite independent as well though. But the thing is, it doesn’t bother me as much as it would others to be on my own, because I don’t get lonely. That being said, that doesn’t mean I don’t get bored every now and then, because I can assure you that I do, but I always find something for myself to do. But then again, I guess I’ve come to not like people as I’ve grown up. Maybe that’s just because they bring so many problems, drama, and unneeded attention or the fact that most have bad intentions and I’ve grown tired of the games and dealing with people who don’t mean well. I’ll tolerate a lot and I am quite calm, reserved, laid back, and I tend to keep to myself, but I suppose it has a lot to do with how people have treated me throughout my life. I just see people for who they really are. Now, that doesn’t mean I hate everyone, because I don’t hate, I may lose respect or trust with you and “defriend” you etc, but I will never hate you. I’ll just simply stop wasting my time and save myself from all of your deceitful troubles that you bring. I no longer relay on others, or expect anything from them. Because if you set such false pretenses, you will only be disappointed and unsatisfied in the end. Maybe it’s just growing up and becoming wise, or just the simple fact that I don’t need someone else to make me happy. Or maybe, just maybe, that the majority of people in this world have become so corrupted to the point that they only intend on deceiving you, which, in turn, has only pushed me further astray. Despite the reasoning, I know for a fact that I alone can make myself happy, and that I don’t need someone else in order to do so, for I already have achieved this and am continuing to do so, and to those that decide to stay with me throughout my life, well, I’ll gladly take you along for the ride and love and cherish thee as long as you do so in return.
Nothing can help you or hurt you as much as the thoughts you carry in your head.